On a Saturday morning 2 days after Thanksgiving the year I turned 18, I walked into my first OA meeting. Having “binged my brains out” for two days, disgusted with my body, desperate and utterly defeated by the disease, I found my way into the rooms of the OA fellowship.
I remember feeling as if the people gathered in that musty church fellowship room with the thin, fraying red carpet, had somehow, unbeknownst to me, gotten hold of my journal and been reading my musings. How did they know all those details? Did they follow me for miles when I sought a particular flavor of an item I had to have; watch me in the laundry room of my college dorm where the vending machines were located; see me bike ride dozens of miles after horrific carb intake; eat out of huge kitchen pans I had access to and go through the cafeteria line as many times as I could before feeling humiliated; see me eating my roommate’s homemade irreplaceable food; read my mind when I was telling a date goodbye, obsessed with what I would eat when they were finally gone; go from 1 fast food establishment to the next buying my favorite items at each place; see the bags full of food I got before writing a paper or studying for an exam? When I worked at a restaurant, did they see me eat off people’s plates after I cut off their last bite? Did they know the paralyzing fear I felt on the inside trying to exude confidence on my face? Did they know how much I loved and believed in God but questioned why He’d abandoned me in this one gigantic area? Had they known when I was a young ballet dancer growing up, that I never felt thin enough or good enough? How did they know my level of desperation?
No where except in the loving rooms of Overeaters Anonymous have I ever experienced the unconditional healing love I still find there, now 35 years later. Yes, I am now 53! I’ve grown up in Overeaters Anonymous and HP willing, will grow old in our rooms! There’s truly nothing else quite like it. My work through the steps, countless times, sponsors, sponsees, service, meetings, and all the ups and downs of this journey have given me a lovely opportunity to live! OA has taught me how to be a student, wife, divorcee, wife again, mom, employee, friend. In all the roles I’m assigned, the 12 steps give me a road map, a guide like no other.
Learning to do life without excess food or other compulsive behaviors isn’t a walk in the park. It’s flipping hard, often. Those difficulties don’t compare to the tragic life story I would have had without recovery.
In a couple of weeks I have the honor of being one speaker at a retreat in a nearby city. The topic I was assigned is one of my all-time favorite sentences in the Big Book, on page 132: “we are not a glum lot.” It also says on that page: “we absolutely insist on enjoying life.”
If putting our drug of choice, food, down, working the steps, and being in the fellowship of OA didn’t make life LOTS better, why would we stay? These things make my life immeasurably better. I am truly, really-I-mean-it, happy, joyous, and free today.
My top suggestions for recovering are: 1) put your “alcoholic foods” down to be entirely abstinent, 2) work with a sponsor whose recovery you truly, deeply desire, and 3) attend as many meetings a week as it takes for you to feel a deep connection to recovery.
I came to OA before the internet and cell phones. There are a host of online and phone meetings now, as well as podcasts that have years’ worth of recordings. We all have tiny hand-held computers: cell phones! If you have the desire, you will have the recovery!
Go to any lengths! Come join a host of friends on this “road of happy destiny!” It is “broad, roomy, and inclusive.” It is a highway full of love, recovery and miracles.
Colleen P.
Chattanooga, TN
I remember feeling as if the people gathered in that musty church fellowship room with the thin, fraying red carpet, had somehow, unbeknownst to me, gotten hold of my journal and been reading my musings. How did they know all those details? Did they follow me for miles when I sought a particular flavor of an item I had to have; watch me in the laundry room of my college dorm where the vending machines were located; see me bike ride dozens of miles after horrific carb intake; eat out of huge kitchen pans I had access to and go through the cafeteria line as many times as I could before feeling humiliated; see me eating my roommate’s homemade irreplaceable food; read my mind when I was telling a date goodbye, obsessed with what I would eat when they were finally gone; go from 1 fast food establishment to the next buying my favorite items at each place; see the bags full of food I got before writing a paper or studying for an exam? When I worked at a restaurant, did they see me eat off people’s plates after I cut off their last bite? Did they know the paralyzing fear I felt on the inside trying to exude confidence on my face? Did they know how much I loved and believed in God but questioned why He’d abandoned me in this one gigantic area? Had they known when I was a young ballet dancer growing up, that I never felt thin enough or good enough? How did they know my level of desperation?
No where except in the loving rooms of Overeaters Anonymous have I ever experienced the unconditional healing love I still find there, now 35 years later. Yes, I am now 53! I’ve grown up in Overeaters Anonymous and HP willing, will grow old in our rooms! There’s truly nothing else quite like it. My work through the steps, countless times, sponsors, sponsees, service, meetings, and all the ups and downs of this journey have given me a lovely opportunity to live! OA has taught me how to be a student, wife, divorcee, wife again, mom, employee, friend. In all the roles I’m assigned, the 12 steps give me a road map, a guide like no other.
Learning to do life without excess food or other compulsive behaviors isn’t a walk in the park. It’s flipping hard, often. Those difficulties don’t compare to the tragic life story I would have had without recovery.
In a couple of weeks I have the honor of being one speaker at a retreat in a nearby city. The topic I was assigned is one of my all-time favorite sentences in the Big Book, on page 132: “we are not a glum lot.” It also says on that page: “we absolutely insist on enjoying life.”
If putting our drug of choice, food, down, working the steps, and being in the fellowship of OA didn’t make life LOTS better, why would we stay? These things make my life immeasurably better. I am truly, really-I-mean-it, happy, joyous, and free today.
My top suggestions for recovering are: 1) put your “alcoholic foods” down to be entirely abstinent, 2) work with a sponsor whose recovery you truly, deeply desire, and 3) attend as many meetings a week as it takes for you to feel a deep connection to recovery.
I came to OA before the internet and cell phones. There are a host of online and phone meetings now, as well as podcasts that have years’ worth of recordings. We all have tiny hand-held computers: cell phones! If you have the desire, you will have the recovery!
Go to any lengths! Come join a host of friends on this “road of happy destiny!” It is “broad, roomy, and inclusive.” It is a highway full of love, recovery and miracles.
Colleen P.
Chattanooga, TN
